| Q. "I'm just getting my business going, after | | | | never, ever tries to sit on the furniture.DO |
| being last off last year. So the lasthing I | | | | send coffee for caffeine fiends, wine for |
| want is a silly twenty-dollar jokegift. A | | | | connoisseurs and Florida fruit baskets for |
| year ago, it would have been great. Now all I | | | | the healthy-minded. My Seattle friends sent |
| can think is, 'I could use a couple of | | | | fresh-roasted beans one year. Mmm!DO respect |
| twenty-dollar-bills right now.'" Signed: New | | | | boundaries. Some people want to be alone on |
| ScroogeA. Many of us have friends who are | | | | holidays, especially if they're single, newly |
| cutting back rather than racing forward. Some | | | | moved or mourning a loss. Keep it low-key: |
| may be stressed out by cash flow crunches of | | | | "If you don't want to come for dinner, come |
| a new business. Others have experienced | | | | by for coffee afterward-- if you feel like |
| personal losses. If they're feeling scroogier | | | | it. Don't bring a present. Do bring the |
| than ever, we can understand.You don't have | | | | dog."And I'll share a secret. Just about |
| to limit your gifts to socks and underwear | | | | every single person I know welcomes a |
| (although a good friend may welcome woolly | | | | take-home serving of holiday dinner. We |
| socks from Eddie Bauer or a treat from | | | | always pretend it's for the cat. See my |
| Victoria's Secret). So, by request, here are | | | | article on "being single on holidays."And |
| tips on combining fun and function for the | | | | what if you're the one who's cutting back? |
| holiday season.DON'T send a free e-card! Many | | | | Maybe this is a tough year and you're not |
| of those sites collect email addresses for | | | | feeling much holiday spirit. Maybe you lost a |
| their own nefarious uses.DO send gift | | | | friend or family member, temporarily or |
| certificates: for a restaurant -- even a | | | | permanently. Or you're getting over the |
| pizza delivery service for amazon.com, and | | | | flu.There are no easy bromides. Some people |
| other online boutiques for an office supply | | | | create their own rituals. Some find comfort |
| house -- Staples, Kinkos, OfficeMaxTip: A | | | | in the old rituals they know so well. Do as |
| friend is moving? Send her a gift certificate | | | | much as you can, comfortably. Whenever I say, |
| for a store or restaurant in her new city. | | | | "I just don't feel like it this year," I |
| Send a season ticket for theatre, ballet, | | | | usually wish I had -- one year later.One tip: |
| symphony or basketball -- get him out of the | | | | Write down your experiences, feelings and |
| house! (from my book, Making the Big Move)DO | | | | wishes. Hide your writing for at least six |
| send gifts for pets. Catnip, pet beds, and | | | | months. A year from now the world will look |
| gift certificates for grooming all work well. | | | | very, very different. |
| I have one dog bed in each room and Keesha | | | | |