| Q. "I'm just getting my business going, after being | | | | dog bed in each room and Keesha never, ever |
| last off last year. So the lasthing I want is a silly | | | | tries to sit on the furniture.DO send coffee for |
| twenty-dollar jokegift. A year ago, it would have | | | | caffeine fiends, wine for connoisseurs and Florida |
| been great. Now all I can think is, 'I could use a | | | | fruit baskets for the healthy-minded. My Seattle |
| couple of twenty-dollar-bills right now.'" Signed: | | | | friends sent fresh-roasted beans one year. |
| New ScroogeA. Many of us have friends who are | | | | Mmm!DO respect boundaries. Some people want |
| cutting back rather than racing forward. Some | | | | to be alone on holidays, especially if they're single, |
| may be stressed out by cash flow crunches of a | | | | newly moved or mourning a loss. Keep it low-key: |
| new business. Others have experienced personal | | | | "If you don't want to come for dinner, come by |
| losses. If they're feeling scroogier than ever, we | | | | for coffee afterward-- if you feel like it. Don't |
| can understand.You don't have to limit your gifts | | | | bring a present. Do bring the dog."And I'll share a |
| to socks and underwear (although a good friend | | | | secret. Just about every single person I know |
| may welcome woolly socks from Eddie Bauer or | | | | welcomes a take-home serving of holiday dinner. |
| a treat from Victoria's Secret). So, by request, | | | | We always pretend it's for the cat. See my article |
| here are tips on combining fun and function for | | | | on "being single on holidays."And what if you're the |
| the holiday season.DON'T send a free e-card! | | | | one who's cutting back? Maybe this is a tough |
| Many of those sites collect email addresses for | | | | year and you're not feeling much holiday spirit. |
| their own nefarious uses.DO send gift certificates: | | | | Maybe you lost a friend or family member, |
| for a restaurant -- even a pizza delivery service | | | | temporarily or permanently. Or you're getting |
| for amazon.com, and other online boutiques for an | | | | over the flu.There are no easy bromides. Some |
| office supply house -- Staples, Kinkos, | | | | people create their own rituals. Some find comfort |
| OfficeMaxTip: A friend is moving? Send her a gift | | | | in the old rituals they know so well. Do as much |
| certificate for a store or restaurant in her new | | | | as you can, comfortably. Whenever I say, "I just |
| city. Send a season ticket for theatre, ballet, | | | | don't feel like it this year," I usually wish I had -- |
| symphony or basketball -- get him out of the | | | | one year later.One tip: Write down your |
| house! (from my book, Making the Big Move)DO | | | | experiences, feelings and wishes. Hide your writing |
| send gifts for pets. Catnip, pet beds, and gift | | | | for at least six months. A year from now the |
| certificates for grooming all work well. I have one | | | | world will look very, very different. |