| "Your boyfriend is about to celebrate | | | | for the preppies of the 1980s, but |
| his special day and you want the | | | | today's men would most likely give you a |
| birthday gift for the man in your life | | | | forced smile if you give them a pink |
| to reflect just how special he is to | | | | sweater as a gift. |
| you. Luckily, most men are quite easy | | | | - A Celine Dion Greatest Hits CD |
| to please and would be happy to receive | | | | Don't even think of saying "but Celine |
| just about anything from you-- anything | | | | Dion sang 'My Heart Will Go On". You |
| but these things, that is: | | | | may think that Celine Dion was an angel |
| - Scrapbook | | | | sent by God to the earth to bless us |
| Women love scrapbooks because they are | | | | with her voice, but the Canadian |
| sentimental, frilly and nostalgic-the | | | | singer's music is just not the kind you |
| very same reasons why most, actually, | | | | would find in a man's iPod play list |
| all men cannot stand them. A scrapbook | | | | (and if you do find a Celine Dion song |
| as a birthday gift for your boyfriend is | | | | in your boyfriend's iPod, then you |
| not likely to get the same yelp of | | | | better start asking questions). |
| gratitude as the latest Nokia cellular | | | | - Flowers |
| phone. Let's face it, a gift like a | | | | Women are suckers for pretty flowers. |
| scrapbook would only likely gather dust | | | | When they are given a beautiful bouquet |
| in the corner of his room, a gift that's | | | | of blooms, they gingerly put them in a |
| been forgotten and buried deep into the | | | | vase then arrange them to maximize and |
| recesses of his mind (harsh, yes, but | | | | enhance their beauty. Most men on the |
| true). | | | | other hand, do not know anything about |
| - Poem | | | | flower arrangements and probably don't |
| Unless your boyfriend is Bono or one of | | | | even know a vase. What will they do |
| those artistic types, then a poem is not | | | | with flowers? |
| the kind of gift your boyfriend would | | | | - Tickets to a ballet recital |
| like to receive. Like a scrapbook, a | | | | If your boyfriend was educated in an |
| poem is too sentimental for the ordinary | | | | exclusive public school, grew up |
| man. What makes poems even worse is the | | | | listening to Tchaikovsky and frequented |
| fact that they convey deep feelings and | | | | the Met, then, sure, you can give him |
| emotions. Plus, men don't like guessing | | | | tickets to a ballet recital. If he's |
| and figuring out vague messages, and | | | | not any of these however, then tickets |
| poems are nothing but unclear, ambiguous | | | | to see a ballet recital is not likely to |
| lines. | | | | be a gift that could make his knees |
| - Pink sweaters | | | | quake with excitement. |
| "Real men wear pink", they say, but no | | | | Men are not picky with when it comes to |
| man in his right mind will ever really | | | | presents and will be grateful for |
| wear a pink sweater (unless he is Carson | | | | whatever you give them. Just stay away |
| Kressley). This look may have worked | | | | from these gifts. |