| As your college student is settling into the dorm, | | | | 3. Your adult children will be faced with many |
| are you discovering that letting go is more difficult | | | | choices about courses, assignments, extra |
| than you imagined? Even with the pressures you | | | | curricular activities. Be supportive, but let them |
| feel as a member of the Sandwich Generation, | | | | make their own decisions and then deal with |
| are you ambivalent about cutting the apron | | | | whatever consequences occur. It's been said |
| strings? | | | | before, but experience is a great teacher. |
| You may be stuck in a new phenomenon that | | | | 4. Make sure that parents' weekend is on your |
| falls under the colorful moniker, Helicopter Parent. | | | | agenda. It's a natural and positive means by which |
| If you find yourself 'hovering' over your kidult, | | | | to feel reassured that your children are adjusting |
| attempting to protect him or her from life's ups | | | | to their new home environment. |
| and downs, you fit the description. | | | | 5. Resist taking on chores that now should fall to |
| Is it technology - cell phones, email and instant | | | | your kidults. As much as washing their clothes and |
| messaging - as some say, that keeps parents | | | | cleaning their rooms have been part of your job |
| overly involved, or is something else at work? | | | | description for years, it's now time to pass the |
| Maria worries, "I'm far too enmeshed with my | | | | baton. |
| daughter and afraid of keeping her closer than is | | | | 6. Focus on your kidult's positive qualities and think |
| healthy. I'm trying to step back and minimize our | | | | of reasons to support their unique ideas. |
| contact - for the emotional growth of both of us." | | | | Remember that they are learning more about the |
| Like Maria, you can do this, too. | | | | joys and responsibilities of independence. |
| 1. If you want information, contact the | | | | 7. Take courses so that you have some common |
| parent-relations specialist that many colleges now | | | | areas of interest with your children. Or better yet, |
| employ. The telephone hotlines and email support | | | | enroll in the college classes you want and follow |
| services they provide allow you to stay | | | | your own dreams. |
| connected in a healthy way. | | | | In the end, having your emerging adult children be |
| 2. Adjustment to communal living - roommates, | | | | accountable for their own actions facilitates their |
| dorms, personality differences - takes time. Be | | | | personal development, sense of self-sufficiency |
| more supportive and less directive as your sons | | | | and positive self-esteem. Isn't that what you |
| and daughters learn new problem solving skills. | | | | really want anyway? |