| As your college student is settling into the | | | | 3. Your adult children will be faced with |
| dorm, are you discovering that letting go is | | | | many choices about courses, assignments, |
| more difficult than you imagined? Even with | | | | extra curricular activities. Be supportive, |
| the pressures you feel as a member of the | | | | but let them make their own decisions and |
| Sandwich Generation, are you ambivalent about | | | | then deal with whatever consequences occur. |
| cutting the apron strings? | | | | It's been said before, but experience is a |
| | | | great teacher. |
| You may be stuck in a new phenomenon that | | | | |
| falls under the colorful moniker, Helicopter | | | | 4. Make sure that parents' weekend is on your |
| Parent. If you find yourself 'hovering' over | | | | agenda. It's a natural and positive means by |
| your kidult, attempting to protect him or her | | | | which to feel reassured that your children |
| from life's ups and downs, you fit the | | | | are adjusting to their new home environment. |
| description. | | | | |
| | | | 5. Resist taking on chores that now should |
| Is it technology - cell phones, email and | | | | fall to your kidults. As much as washing |
| instant messaging - as some say, that keeps | | | | their clothes and cleaning their rooms have |
| parents overly involved, or is something else | | | | been part of your job description for years, |
| at work? Maria worries, "I'm far too | | | | it's now time to pass the baton. |
| enmeshed with my daughter and afraid of | | | | |
| keeping her closer than is healthy. I'm | | | | 6. Focus on your kidult's positive qualities |
| trying to step back and minimize our contact | | | | and think of reasons to support their unique |
| - for the emotional growth of both of us." | | | | ideas. Remember that they are learning more |
| Like Maria, you can do this, too. | | | | about the joys and responsibilities of |
| | | | independence. |
| 1. If you want information, contact the | | | | |
| parent-relations specialist that many | | | | 7. Take courses so that you have some common |
| colleges now employ. The telephone hotlines | | | | areas of interest with your children. Or |
| and email support services they provide allow | | | | better yet, enroll in the college classes you |
| you to stay connected in a healthy way. | | | | want and follow your own dreams. |
| | | | |
| 2. Adjustment to communal living - roommates, | | | | In the end, having your emerging adult |
| dorms, personality differences - takes time. | | | | children be accountable for their own actions |
| Be more supportive and less directive as your | | | | facilitates their personal development, sense |
| sons and daughters learn new problem solving | | | | of self-sufficiency and positive self-esteem. |
| skills. | | | | Isn't that what you really want anyway? |
| | | | |